Mondays. They carry a lot of weight for most people because it’s the day that you start back at work for the week ahead. I’ve had a complicated relationship with Mondays for the past year and I just realized that things are about to change.
My son Brandon is almost done with his preschool career. He goes to school Tuesdays through Fridays and is home on Mondays. This was intentional at first because I thought it was good for him to have a day at home without big sister constantly interrupting his independent play. Well once I started my own business and had a more flexible schedule, Mondays became my day home with Brandon instead of my husband’s.
So on Mondays I am in full Mom mode, planning something for us to do, running errands with my sidekick in tow, trying to fit in some work emails when he is lost in his own personal Legoland. I have loved some of the moments I’ve had with him the past year; watching him at the skate park be so brave and confident, taking him to gymnastics open gym where he runs around like a crazy man with the biggest smile on his face, conversations over lunch where he goes on and on about Minecraft and I nod my head and smile, Costco trips where he sits in the cart making sure I don’t miss one free sample and watching his sweet face as he sleeps in the back seat on the way home.
But because motherhood is such a constant mind game and we are always pulled in multiple directions at the same time, Mondays have also been frustrating. It’s hard to sit and watch him at the skate park when I’d rather be doing things for my business. I have books I want to read about pelvic health, I have articles to write and people to contact. No one told me motherhood would involve so much sitting and watching my kids do something. It’s been a real challenge to completely set aside my active mind and stay in my mom hat, especially because my mom hat has always felt a little too tight. It can be hard to appreciate these last few Mondays with Brandon when it takes him 30 minutes of whining just to get dressed in the morning because “he’s not ready” and “he’s doing something” and it ends up feeling like wasted time that I’ve spent trying to get us out the door.
Three Mondays is all I have left to savor my last baby before he joins big sis in summer camp and then trots off to Kindergarten. 3 Mondays is all I have left to feel that frustration that motherhood can cause when “Mom” hasn’t been the most comfortable hat I’ve ever worn. In the end I’m glad this time is coming to an end because he is ready and so am I. I’m ready to gain a day back in the week for myself and my business and I’ll be even more ready to pick up my kids at the end of their school day and put that mom hat back on. Now time to plan three more Monday adventures, which will have to include some snuggles and some ice cream!!